My portfolio symposium experience was.... interesting. It may have been the fact that I was recently returned from the rally in Madison, but I was feeling unusually feisty and quite unwilling to partake in such an organized event.
To be honest, I was pissed. To be even more honest, it wasn't totally to do with the symposium, but it surely was the icing on the cake. Recently, I've been questioning my decision in not only attending MIAD, but going to school at all. What am I going to do with a degree in photography? I despise marketing, but that seems to be the most common niche out there for aspiring photographers.
Anyway, my ongoing doubts about recent life choices I've made have got me on edge constantly. It's what I think about while I try to fall asleep at night, and what occupies my waking thoughts 95% of the time.
It was particularly bad the night of the symposium because not only had I come from a political protest – at which I was completely in my own element, photographing the days events packed full of emotion and passion – but I also had to come back to school for a virtually pointless meeting. Almost none of the presenters were available to speak with, and the one that I really did have an interest in talking to (not just seeing the work of) rebuffed me while I sifted through her photographs.
However, there was one highlight, and that was that at least one of my questions was answered, and it was answered twice at that.
Was it worth it going to MIAD/other school of choice? Yes. According to these artists, anyways. So bully for them. Obviously it was a struggle, but they all made it out alive and relatively successfully at that.
But what they couldn't answer me was what if school isn't the right choice for someone? What if it ends up being a huge and total waste of money, time, and effort. I know, I know. Any experience/education is a good thing. Yes. This is true. However, these experiences happen to be outrageously expensive and (might negatively)affect the rest of my life.
I apologize if this comes out as a rant against the symposium and the school. I know thats not what this post was supposed to be about, and believe me I did not start off this blog with that specific intention. But in order to write it, in all of its 250-word minimum glory, I had to give a bit of a background as to why I really only had one answer to one of my many questions.
No apologies needed.
ReplyDeleteYour post is a very articulate appraisal of what happened to you on that day. I might have changed the experience if everyone had gone to Madison to protest and came in pumped from that event, but that in itself was a powerful life-moment for you to participate in; and I'm glad you did. You saw the passion of life in both places, delivered in two very different manners.
To question being, or staying here. That is very normal thing to do, especially the more your realize and understand the cultural aspects of staying here and what's expected of you vs. what you wish it to be. I'm always more than happy to discuss this with you, and no, I won't try to brainwash anyone in staying here - I never do.
The only thing that was a bit upsetting to me from your post was that you didn't get a quality experience with the Photographer. Perhaps next year I'll invite a different Photographer, but therein lies the conflict; that whoever I select will please some - but not all. Perhaps more who use photo in different ways might be my solution?
Regardless, simply being there at the Symposium was in itself a lesson that will be clearer to understand as time moves on as I liken it to a drawing lesson that grows with you over time; but non the less, so was your extreme day in Madison.
Best,
JB