Killing Weintraub

So it happened by chance that I chose two particularly contrasting artists out of Weintraub's text this time. All on my own! Like, zoinks!


The first read was on Lorna Simpson, a Black female photographer whom Weintraub clearly did not favor much. (More on that later.) Simpson's style  was to be as unintrusive as possible. She wants her audience to make all the decisions, without any influence from her. She does this by shrouding her models in ambiguous white frocks, leaving out heads or shooting images from behind, etc. etc., so as not to reveal any personal identity or characteristics. Although this might be seen as expressionless art, or a cry for attention as Weintraub makes it seem, I actually kind of respect it. I can definitely see how it might be perceived as just a ploy for fame, but it is her style and she's sticking with it and I admire that.


So while Simpson was publicity shy (just as Michelle Lopez was), Wenda Gu is anything but. I mean, this guy is creating at "eternal" project by inseminating one woman in each continent with his own seed. For serious. I started off reading about him thinking he had some pretty neat concepts and projects, albeit somewhat ...grotesque, for lack of a better word, his period blood and placentas were a pleasant mixture of shock value and cultural commentary/exploration. UNTIL Untitled: Impregnation Piece came along and then I guess we just threw everything out the windows.


Gu's ideal plan for these "art babies" is basically to have not only his blood children but also his brain children live on as long as humans exist. So the mom's will do the parenting, and he'll be able to say he's got one woman on each continent to impregnate herself with his essence.


Nicely done.

version # whatever

Who am I?

I'm me; art student, aspiring human being. I create and work and this helps me to function in a society.

Who is my audience?

Anyone with emotions, because I believe that's what any form of art is - emotion put into a certain medium. That's what makes art so controversial and so sensitive; emotions are being criticized, judged, accepted. I've heard various instructors at MIAD speak about how a critique is nothing personal -- "we're just judging your artwork, not you as a person." Well me, as a person, not me as a table, put my own hard work and sadness and joy and anger and expression into this because that's what I do.

Anyone with intuition, because not a whole lot of explaining is typical or expected in the art world. Make up your own stories to fill in my gaps and believe whatever you'd like to believe. I just provide the context – the food for thought. I, along with my work, am the cause, the stimulant, the challenge.

Next you might ask where do my inspirations stem from? How do I chose to influence my own work? I look to writers, poets, activists, politicians, musicians, cultures, and the every day human being. So much beauty and sadness can be found in both the ordinary and in the extraordinary.

Being a photographer, I see all of this. I look for all of it, constantly.

Being a writer, I think. Every day thoughts and events find themselves intertwined in some new vignette.

Anyway, all of this noise - visual, audio, internal... ALL of it is then put forth into writings, ideas, photos, etc. Hopefully I'll eventually be able to develop a fool proof system for processing and interpreting all of it into a theme or style that I can call my own.

I'd like to think of myself as an individual who is inspired by past and present. I tend not to think about the future so much. It's too dismal. But my thoughts occupy themselves impressively with themes of what used to be and what currently is. And from my thoughts and thinks stem my notions, my ideas.

Basically, I take an overwhelmingly great interest in the human life that surrounds me. Many of the concepts and events that have happened have inspired me in my work, yet they are still channeled through me first. Because these are the things that I deem important and a part of my thought processes. I don't know why, exactly. I just know that they do. I'm sure these values will change. Indeed, I expect them to. Some may stay, some may go... they're really just the dependent variables of how much life I've lived.

An especially important value that I look for in my life is morality. Right versus wrong. Social consciousness. I don't care whether someone is gay or straight, black or white, man or woman; as long as they have a good soul and true heart that they follow to the best of their abilities. Currently, I don't think there's enough compassion and fellowship in the world. I'd like to create more through my work – I want to show the world to itself. It's such a huge place, we can't possibly be aware of everything going on in every place, but we can certainly give it a try. And I'm sure growing up in the current technological revolution that walks hand in hand with an environmental and economical crisis has had more than a little to do with the shaping of my opinions. So I suppose it's only natural that I would want to incorporate not only awareness but activeness into my work.

Anyway, currently I'm feeling like I need to expand myself culturally in order to create the most true and beneficial work. If not for only myself but for my fellow world citizens. I also can't be entirely happy or content with myself if I remain as involved in the consumerism world as I am. 


So here's to accomplishing all of that. 

see, think, make

Despite not having the deepest interest in design, the concepts behind the techniques that were explained in this presentation really caught my attention. I may not be able to draw orthographics so well, or even begin to conceptualize some of things exemplified in the video, but I certainly can empathize with the desire to minimalize and stimulate global awareness through creativity.

I think it's awesome that we live in a world that can combine art, passion, and need to develop new products and processes to help the disabled, the needy, the sick, etc. It's interesting that this viewing and assignment should be brought up now in class as I've recently been coming to terms with consumerism and how I want to deal with it personally.

I absolutely hate being a purchaser and provider of wants rather than needs. I feel as though all of the jobs I've held throughout high school and now college have been so meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Similarly, I also feel that I've been much too much of a materialist when it comes to clothing, technology, and other mundane purchases. Some 98% of the things I own were probably made in some impoverished country by workers getting paid the absolute minimum wage in the poorest of conditions. The fact that I don't even know for sure is upsetting to me.

Anyways, watching this and just generally evolving some of these free radical thoughts bouncing off the walls of my mind has made me start to realize that I really need to know what I'm doing before I can do it, otherwise it'll be a waste of time and fairly counter active. And while I'm against providing services for the general public that are basically just extravagances that no one really needs, it has provided me with a great sense of work ethic as well as what I do and do not want to do with my life later on down the road. 

anastomosis and between the cracks.

Freshman year of college. 
Where. to. begin. 


For lack of a better place to start, let me just say that up until my attendance at MIAD, the last time I had an art class was probably around 5th grade. Yes, seriously. 


I didn't come here because I want to illustrate cartoons or design interiors. 
I came here because I didn't know where else to go, or what else to do. 
I applied to colleges only because it was a requirement for my senior English class. At the time, I had no idea what I wanted to do or where I wanted to be in life. I wanted to take a gap year but was afraid I'd never go back to school and end up being manager of some 7/11 with no dental. 


So when I was accepted into the schools I had applied, I still had not made a decision. I knew that I loved photography and reportive and creative writing, but I didn't know if I had it in me to make a career out of that. 


Then I thought about what I had in me and what kind of a career I could make out of it. 
I never really came up with an answer, but MIAD sent me a nice chunk of change around that time, so I became rather distracted with that shiny nice thing. 


I'm regretting it now. 
Clarification: I don't regret it, but I probably would not make the same decisions I have had I known what I now know. Hindsight is 20/20 they say. 


Anyway, as my wise grandmother told me recently, any kind of an education is never a waste. And she's right. It wasn't a waste. It was just a rather expesinve and dramatic way of going about learning some new drawing skills and color theory. 


Suffice to say, I think I'm coming to the conclusion that MIAD isn't entirely the best place for me, nor am I the best student for it. The one photography class I've had so far is a lot of fun, and I am learning very useful techniques and skills, but it's simply not enough. 


One thing that I really have learned during my time here is that people are the way they're going to be and there's not stopping it. I'm so glad I realized this fairly early on life. It's opened up some doors in my mind I didn't even know were there. It's made me aware of how important it is to be happy in life, since apparently it's a rather short blip in the course of things, and I really don't want to regret a whole lot when I look back on my death bed. (Of course I'll regret some things, but that's what makes life life, right?) I digress. What I'm trying to say is that the most valuable life skill I've learned here is that everyone has a place somewhere, doing something. I thought mine began here, in Milwaukee, going to an art school. 


I don't think it does, though. And I'm still unsure of what it is that will make me a happy person with little to no regrets. I know for certain it doesn't involve visual dynamics or any class having to do with that. It also probably doesn't include stretching canvases or drawing nudes. 


But I'm okay with this. I have to be, and I want to be. There are people out there who are meant to be great at things this school teaches, and luckily for them they're already here! (Oh, how jealous am I...)


This year has been a very emotional and confusing time. I've had some good laughs and some good cries. I'm so glad to have met the people I know will continue to stay in my life whether I attend MIAD or not, and above all I'm thankful for what I've learned does and does not fit my lifestyle. Recognizing these aspects, I believe anyways, is an important task I had to accomplish before I really can get a good old fashioned running start... 

re-posted.

who is me

Me; art student, aspiring human being.

It's a work in progress, but I'll be the first to let you know when I find out.

But the world loves mysticism and evasiveness. The chase is more fun than the catch, right? So I'll be elusive.

It (my work) helps me to function in a society.

to my audience:

Emotional because I believe that's what any form of art is - emotion put into a certain medium or mediums and presented to an audience. That's what makes art so controversial and so sensitive; emotions are being criticized, judged, accepted.

I've heard various instructors at MIAD speak about how a critique is nothing personal -- "we're just judging your artwork, not you as a person." Well me, as a person, not me as a backpack or as a table, put my own hard work and sadness and joy and anger and expression into this crappy piece of cut out paper and paint because that's what I do. That's what I'm here for. So please, don't sit there and tell me you're not judging me personally. Don't tell me you expect your own audiences to look at your work and not make speculations about you as an artist or as a person or as a person who IS an artist, whether they know you or they don't.

Intuitive because not a whole lot of explaining is typical or expected in the art world. Make up your own stories to fill in my gaps and believe whatever you'd like to believe. If it helps you sleep at night and makes you a happier or sadder person that's on you. I just provide the context.

I promise, I won't intentionally mislead you.

the world at large

Instead, I look to writers, poets, activists, politicians, specific cultures, and the every day human being. Oh, and did I mention musicians? I don't believe I did. Allow me to do so now:

MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC.

Being a writer, I think. Every day thoughts and events find themselves intertwined in some new vignette or story idea. Again, constantly. It does get exhausting, at times. Turning off your brain is harder than the anti-drug commercials make it seem.

Anyway, all of this noise - visual, audio, internal... ALL of it is then put forth into writings, ideas, photos, etc.

'tude

I'd like to think of myself as an individual who is inspired by past and present. I tend not to think about the future so much. It's too dismal. But my thoughts occupy themselves impressively with themes of what used to be and what currently is. And from my thoughts and thinks stem my ideas, my notions, my ideas.

I take interest in human life that surrounds me.

Many of the concepts and events that have happened have inspired me in my work, yet they are still channeled through me first.

On artistic focus: Idealization. Naturalism. Romance. Humanism. The list goes on. Explain, you ask? Because these are the things that I deem important and a part of my thought processes. I don't know why, exactly. They just do.

I'm sure these values will change. Indeed, I expect them to. Some may stay, some may go... they're really just the dependent variables of how much life I've lived.

decisions, decisions

An especially important value that I look for in my life is morality. Right versus wrong. Social consciousness. I could give a rat's ass whether someone is gay or straight, black or white, man or woman; as long as they have a good soul and true heart that they follow to the best of their abilities.

the cow has four sides

I'm sure growing up in the current technological revolution that walks hand in hand with an environmental and economical crisis has had more than a little to do with the shaping of my opinions.

So I suppose it's only natural that I would want to incorporate not only awareness but activeness into my work.

Anyway, currently I'm feeling like I need to expand myself culturally in order to create the most true and beneficial work for not only myself but for my fellow world citizens. I also can't be entirely happy or content with myself if I remain as involved in the consumerism world as I am.

Who knows, maybe I'll go become a farmer and take photos of cows. But somehow, I'm still nowhere near the finished results.

I went to the Haggerty Museum....

And I thoroughly enjoyed it.

This is most definitely because it was an exhibition not only on photography (which happens to be right up my alley), but had a particular human interest focus (which is even further up my alley).

The Truth is Not in the Mirror exhibit featured several photographers that I took a great interest in. I hadn't heard of or seen any of their work or names before, as I've never been one to pursue other artists work with much voracity at all. This fact only curated my curiosity and fascination at the photographs exhibited, and made my visit there that much more enjoyable.

Specifically, my attention was mostly captivated by Tina Barney, Larry Sultan, Rineke Dijkstra, The Satorialist, and Alec Soth. Their portraits dealt with “inside looks” into their own personal cultures and/or ideals. Many if not most have some sort of passage of time theme as well, which is something that I connect with very strongly. I consider nostalgia to be one of the most basic of human emotions and very much appreciated how portraits like Dijkstra's Tiergarten series and Barney's Marina and Peter sequence document not only physical growth and age, but incorporate strong emotional aspects as well.

Tiergarten, 1998 (L) Tiergarten, 2003 (R)

Both works deal with the graduation of girl to womanhood, a rather turbulent time (to say the least) for any female - whether captured on film or not. I suppose this has a personal affect on me not only because of similar subject interest, but also because it was an experience that I myself went through.

Marina's Room, 1987

However, because of the compositions and content of the images, it is suffice to say that almost anyone – male or female, young or old – could grasp the concepts and motives in the photographs through the emotionally charged facial expressions and body language that is so artfully framed by the respective photographer. Similarly, Larry Sultan also works in a sentimentally themed area in his photograph, Mom Posing for Me.

Mom Posing for Me, 1984

Although this portrait doesn't deal directly with a coming of age type of an idea, it does have a reminiscent feeling. The way the two figures in the photograph are posed is a large component of the theme, as it depicts not only their relationship with the photographer, who is their son in this case, but also between themselves. Even the title influences the view – it is “Mom” posing, not “Mom and Dad”, despite “dad” being in picture as well. Body language is another key to unlocking this photo, and it is clear that we as viewers are supposed to focus on “mom”, despite her resigned and even somewhat timid stature. I have no doubt that this is commentary on Sultan's view towards his parents – the ever present maternal figure and the distant, preoccupied father. 

the cow has four sides

Blog entry #10: List your potential, current and future Missions as visual creators; expound upon your passions, interests and desired objectives. What will your intended mission be as a contributor to our collective visual culture? 200 word minimum.

Something that has plagued me for quite some time now has been my role as a consumer and producer in this world. I can't pin point the exact moment when I was made aware – or became aware – of this concern, but it's occupied my mind for a while.

I'm sure growing up in the current technological revolution that walks hand in hand with an environmental and economical crisis has had more than a little to do with the shaping of my opinions. I also grew up in a very conscientious household – my mother recycled, my dad biked to work, etc. Throughout high school I myself was in various environmental clubs and activist groups.

So I suppose it's only natural that I would want to incorporate not only awareness but activeness into my work. From the very beginning of my self discovery as a photographer, I've wanted to create awareness. All of my college and scholarship essays were about “showing the world to itself” through my photos and writing. And while I'd still love love love to do this...

Some things have changed. Mainly my values and feelings about what I need to do with my life to make it meaningful. I still have the general “me-ness” to me, but I've been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of fine tuning. And somehow I'm still nowhere near the finished results.

Anyway, currently I'm feeling like I need to expand myself culturally in order to create the most true and beneficial work for not only myself but for my fellow world citizens. I also can't be entirely happy or content with myself if I remain as involved in the consumerism world as I am.

Who knows, maybe I'll go become a farmer and take photos of cows. 

my frankenstein blog baby

My portfolio symposium experience was.... interesting. It may have been the fact that I was recently returned from the rally in Madison, but I was feeling unusually feisty and quite unwilling to partake in such an organized event.

To be honest, I was pissed. To be even more honest, it wasn't totally to do with the symposium, but it surely was the icing on the cake. Recently, I've been questioning my decision in not only attending MIAD, but going to school at all. What am I going to do with a degree in photography? I despise marketing, but that seems to be the most common niche out there for aspiring photographers.

Anyway, my ongoing doubts about recent life choices I've made have got me on edge constantly. It's what I think about while I try to fall asleep at night, and what occupies my waking thoughts 95% of the time.

It was particularly bad the night of the symposium because not only had I come from a political protest – at which I was completely in my own element, photographing the days events packed full of emotion and passion – but I also had to come back to school for a virtually pointless meeting. Almost none of the presenters were available to speak with, and the one that I really did have an interest in talking to (not just seeing the work of) rebuffed me while I sifted through her photographs.

However, there was one highlight, and that was that at least one of my questions was answered, and it was answered twice at that.

Was it worth it going to MIAD/other school of choice? Yes. According to these artists, anyways. So bully for them. Obviously it was a struggle, but they all made it out alive and relatively successfully at that.

But what they couldn't answer me was what if school isn't the right choice for someone? What if it ends up being a huge and total waste of money, time, and effort. I know, I know. Any experience/education is a good thing. Yes. This is true. However, these experiences happen to be outrageously expensive and (might negatively)affect the rest of my life.

I apologize if this comes out as a rant against the symposium and the school. I know thats not what this post was supposed to be about, and believe me I did not start off this blog with that specific intention. But in order to write it, in all of its 250-word minimum glory, I had to give a bit of a background as to why I really only had one answer to one of my many questions. 

decisions, decisions

Going through puberty and high school is stressful enough, without the added strain of social pressures. Developing into the human being you want to be is even more difficult.

It seems like it'd be easy enough, right? Just surround yourself with the friends you like and do the things you like to do. But we all know life is't quite so black and white as that. There are temptations, easy ways out, and various other sinful fruits from the proverbial tree of life.

Anyway, despite my "young" age in comparison to my educators, family, and other more seasoned acquaintances, I still have had almost two decades in this world. I've seen terrorist attacks and grown up in the age of vast technological advancements, among other memorable instances.

I've also made my way through multiple friendship circles, brief romantic stints, and other socially molding experiences. Through these adventures, I have come to realize just what and who I do and do not want to surround myself with.

An especially important value that I look for in my life is morality. Right versus wrong. Social consciousness. I could give a rat's ass whether someone is gay or straight, black or white, man or woman; as long as they have a good soul and true heart that they follow to the best of their abilities.

Another aspect that I hold in high regard is simplicity. Our culture has become so greedy and so self entitled that it literally makes me sick. I despise our collective laziness and righteousness. These feelings are a leading contributor in not only my choices of social groups, but also in how I see myself. What have I done to deserve my fancy ass laptop on which I write this assignment? What have I done to deserve the right to even attend this institution? While I pay part of my way through scholarships, the remainder of this ungodly tuition is a constant stress factor on my parents' minds.

So whatever I can do to relieve any sort of complications will help in the long run. We'll see. But here's to the right choices made for the right reasons!

...just kidding.

ode-ish to state of now-ish

I accept, and I question, I try to work out the kinks

I conform, I protest

I have cares, thoughts, and thinks

And every day concerns me, for I still can't seem to find a life quest.

But I'm still me

I still love Winnie the Pooh

My name still starts with a C and ends with an E

And I'd still give anything to live where they call the toilet the loo

Me; art student

Me; aspiring human being

It's just me, ladies and gents

Sitting here: thinking, writing, and seeing.

It's a work in progress

That's so far taken nearly 19 years

At this rate, it'd be faster to pass a bill in congress

Or to outrun the bad luck of broken mirrors.

I direct my work to editors and publicists

I hope to catch the eye of dapper young men,

As well as leaders, humanists and activists

By avoiding the latest fashions and trends.

Many artists bare all with their work

Their passions and pains reflect in their creations

But for me, while behind the camera I lurk

I attempt to show the commotions of the world and its nations.

And I've come to realize

That a picture is worth a thousand words

No matter how much we romanticize or idealize

Cameras see all, like the eyes of a bird.

My work helps me to function

Society is a big huge mess

Often I find myself at crossroads and junctions

Searching for peace amidst the anxiety and stress.

questiones! preguntas!

1. Was attending MIAD (or any other college) worth it? Did you ever question the time and money spent at your institution?

2. What was your dream job going into your freshman year of school? What is it now?

3. Does your work satisfy and fulfill you?

4. How much of your work has a social conscious bearing to it?

5. What are the top few things you wish someone would've advised you while you were in school?

to be continued... 

hollaaa to the polaaa (original response, yo)

'tude.

-Which are you? An artist/designer who chooses to conform to a predecessor or a historic style, or, do you assert your own individual free will through your work? Defend and explain.


Eh. Another either or question. I think we all know by now that I'm not going to be able to give such a black and white answer. 


That being said, let's move on. 


I'd like to think of myself as an individual who is inspired by past and present. I tend not think about the future so much. It's too dismal. But my thoughts occupy themselves impressively with themes of what used to be and what currently is. And from my thoughts and thinks stem my ideas, my notions, my ideas. 


I take interest in human life that surrounds me. Since a lot of what surrounds me also happened to exist in the past -- perhaps a past I was in, perhaps a past before my time, I also am extremely enthralled in that. It's just how I roll. Many of the concepts and events that have happened have inspired me in my work, yet they are still channeled through me first. Wherever these thinks come from... the Universe? Europe? Kansas? ... they have to pass through me - through my brain - before they hit paper or canvas or film or whatever happens to be within reach. 


Much of my photography is captured candidly. I photograph what I see, not what I know or think. I'd like to change this. Well, maybe not so much change as revise. I love going out and being a picture taker, but I'd also like to get to know the picture maker side of myself. Much of what I write would be better suited in a different media. It may not necessarily even be photography, either. Who knows. We'll see. 




-Which does your artistic attitude focus upon? Accuracy? Distortion? or Idealization? Defend and explain.


Idealization. Naturalism. Romance. Humanism. The list goes on. 


Explain, you ask? Because these are the things that I deem important and a part of my thought processes. I don't know why, exactly. They just do. Accepting/acknowledging them is something that I've struggled with for a while and now that I've finally been able to, I don't really want to look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth. 


I'm sure these values will change. Indeed, I expect them to. Some may stay, some may go... they're really just the dependent variables of how much life I've lived. I realize that and can do nothing about it except go with the flow. Ride the tide. Hang ten, dude. It's an exhausting process. No wonder he majority of people look back on their teen and young adult years as an angsty time full of upheaval and change. But it creates creativity and stimulates thoughts and results in unstable yet experienced middle aged people. (My thoughts on this whole thing are alarmingly skewed on whether it's a positive or negative experience, so bear with the occasional sardonic contradicitons.)


But since these values are here now, they guide me in how I think, how I look at the world, how I present myself and my art to fellow humans. 

kentridge v. kinkade, exhibit a

the world at large

Where else (excluding the specific world of visual art / design) do you draw inspiration from? Politics, Science, Culture, Religion, Psychology, etc.


Oh boy. Where don't I draw inspiration from? 


To be perfectly honest, I'd say that the vast majority of my inspiration comes from sources other than visual art and design. Sure, I have photographers and other graphic artists that I admire and may know by name, but I rarely (if ever) consult them for reference in the creation of my own work.


Instead, I look to writers, poets, activists, politicians, specific cultures, and the every day human being. Oh, and did I mention musicians? I don't believe I did. Allow me to do so now:


MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC. 


I could break it down into percentage of inspiration, but that'd be tedious for me and boring for you. Just know that music would be off the charts and visual artists would be barely perceptible. 


Being a photographer, I see. Every day sights morph into photographs for me. Constantly.


Being a writer, I think. Every day thoughts and events find themselves intertwined in some new vignette or story idea. Again, constantly. It does get exhausting, at times. Turning off your brain is harder than the anti-drug commercials make it seem.


And being an extreme music connoisseur, it's a rare occasion that I don't have some sort of music playing. Sometimes softer background songs, more often louder forefront tunage. In fact, as I typed in this sentence I recieved an email warning me of reaching my free Pandora listening limit. (Fffuuuuucckkkkk...!) 


Anyway, all of this noise - visial, audio, internal... ALL of it is then put forth into writings, ideas, photos, etc. It all swirls together and I pick out the pieces that would be best suited for a creative story or a weird poem or a staged photo. And when it gets to be too much I go out on a photo-loaded walk and blow off some steam. Sort things out.  Create my own therapy, and hopefully some interesting photographs while I'm at it. 


It's a process that's taken me a long time and a lot of pot to work out, but it's developing slowly but surely.